


dear castiel

by aIIegro (orphan_account)



Series: supernatural fiction [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, F/M, Other, Suicide, Triggers, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 06:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12451275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/aIIegro
Summary: aftermath of your death.TRIGGER WARNING





	dear castiel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PrincessProngslette](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessProngslette/gifts).



> here's to PrincessProngslette, who apparently wants to cry  
> i cried writing this  
> i'm still crying  
> just know i love u and i'm available to talk on my tumblr, casifrr.tumblr.com

_Dear Castiel,_

_I’m always sad and I’m always lonely. I know you’re busy. You’ll find this eventually. Take your time. I’m dead. I’m not going anywhere, love. My angel. My sad, burdened angel who deserved so much more than someone as worthless as me. Tell my brothers I love them. Do the thing. Do what you always wanted to do, and do it for me. Promise me you’ll stay safe. I love you._

_You’re so special. You were chosen by God. You rebelled. You did everything you could to stop the Apocalypse. You suffered. You helped the Winchesters. Dean and Sam are heroes, of course, but you are not a sidekick. You’re a hero, just like them. Even if no one else thinks you’re one, know that I did. And I still do. I will, even after death._

\---

It was unsigned.

Every word was piercing. As Castiel read and re-read the letter, more and more tears splash onto the page covered in shaky handwriting. He read it over and over until the salty liquid completely blurred his vision. His hands trembled and tears began to rip apart the wet sheet of white paper. Soon after he had torn it to shreds, Sam and Dean had returned with your body. Castiel recited the note by memory, painstaking sobs heaved at every word. Sam had stood there with his eyes closed and his bottom lips quaking. Dean looked angry. Sheer anger was evident, and he looked like he was ready to punch the wall. Surprisingly, he pulled himself back together, put on his best soldier face, and walked over to the broken angel. For Castiel, everything began to move in slow motion, like he was underwater. He couldn’t hear the words of comfort Dean whispered to him as he tried to pull Castiel to his feet. He watched as Sam slowly brought his hands up to his hair, no longer able to hide the anguish from his face. Castiel remained unresponsive to anything, letting the Winchesters pull him off the floor with no protest. Dean was trying not to notice that Castiel’s body was as limp and pliant as your own. While a silently crying Sam, brought the angel to his feet, Dean was covering your body with a crisp, clean, neat white sheet. You lay peacefully on your bed, your room untouched as if you were simply sleeping.

“She’s gone, Sammy,” he rasped, green eyes glazed over with tears. “Gone.” He was met with no response. Castiel seemed to be completely out of it.

“She’s not gone,” he breathed, his words slightly slurred, as if he was fatigued. “She’s resting, she’ll be back, she’ll be back. She’s sleeping, let her rest.” Dean’s nose twitched, trying to keep his sobs at bay. Soon after, he abruptly left the room, leaving Sam to comfort the unbelieving shell of an angel. When he reached the kitchen, Dean pulled out his strongest whiskey and slumped onto the floor, taking a long gulp. Tears flowed freely now. It was the end to a very short beginning.

Sam couldn’t stand Castiel’s muttering. The way he spoke was so convincing, Sam almost believed him until he caught a glimpse of the white sheet. Castiel was so sure of himself, while Sam had already flipped past the first four stages of grief. It was clear to him that he was to be the rock now. Before, it was Dean. Now Sam had to step up, no matter how hard it hurt. He let Castiel lean on him, trying to block out his unrelentless babbling. 

It was the end of an era.

And the start of a new one.


End file.
